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Wednesday 20th May 2020

L.O: To write my conclusion and edit.

 

Today lesson is in two parts.

First we finish writing our letter, ending with the conclusion.

Second to proof-read and edit.

 

Part 1: Conclusion writing

Paragraph 5

Conclusion

To end the letter, expressing that we must do something now and to hope to hear from them soon.

 

Look back at your plan to see which sentences openers and phrases you are going to be using.

 

For your conclusion you will need to:

  • Explain overall what needs to be done and why.
  • Explain you hope to hear from them soon.
  • Include sentence openers
  • End your letter with a phrase and your name.

 

To show the set out of this, I have put the model conclusion below and colour coded it to show how each point has been included. (Remember this conclusion is about a different topic, make sure you write yours about ocean threats!)

 

In conclusion, I hope you will take my concerns seriously and take on board some of my suggestions to solve this problem. If we don’t take action and do something about it now, then we will lose our park forever. I look forward to and await your response.

 

Yours sincerely,

 

Mrs M Simpson

 

Ending your letter

In conclusion...

Finally,

I suggest...

I propose...

I will be waiting for your reply...

I look forward to your response...

Yours sincerely

Many thanks

Yours faithfully

 

Part 2: Editing

Great work if you have been reading through and editing after completing each paragraph. If not, don’t worry, follow the steps below to edit your letter:

(If you can, use a different colour pen!)

 

  1. Read your letter out loud, if you spot any mistakes change them - add in missing words, take out words or rewrite a sentence so it does makes sense.
  2. Spellings - Identify any which are incorrect and use a dictionary or the internet to find the correct spelling.
  3. Punctuation - Make sure there are question marks at the end of your rhetorical questions and, when needed, commas after sentence openers.
  4. Have you got paragraphs?
  5. If you have used the same sentence opener more than once in one paragraph, see if you can change it so you’re not repeating yourself.

 

Now read your letter again. If you can, read it aloud to someone else.

 

Tomorrow we will be writing up our letter neatly.

 

Please find the activity above as a pdf below.

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